Are Individuals Who Use Internet Dating Desperate?
A few years ago I recall the looks of pity my friend Sarah would get when she mentioned she'd been trying online dating sites. I must admit, at the time, I too thought she must be desperate; couldn't she meet anyone in 'real' life? Didn't she ever talk to people at work or at parties?
I judged her actions and concluded that she was either a bit weird or socially inept. Of course, you know I wouldn't be telling you all this if she had never met anyone...sure enough, she met a guy online, they fell in love, and now they're married.
Even one experience like this in your own group of friends is enough to make you question your rushed judgments. So, could online dating prove to be a mainstream way of meeting people, or would it remain in the margins of society? Is it humiliating to look for people online?
Well, let's say you're busy all day at work , you go out a couple of times a week with your usual group of friends, and the rest of the time you're washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning your home (or more likely a combination of Facebook, TV and surfing the net); realistically, how many new 'dateable' people are you likely to meet?
Even if you managed to date, or even chat beyond pleasantries with one new person a week, how many of those are likely to strike up any kind of connection with? Maybe one in a hundred, and that's if you're lucky. At that rate, it would take you two years to even meet someone that you feel really attracted to.
So, let's say you look at these statistics and realize you need to up the odds of meeting someone. You do the sensible thing and sign-up to a dating site that has millions of people in its database. You use the Internet to keep in touch with your friends, and for buying things, so why not for dating also?
Is email less 'real' than talking? Be honest, do you message people on Facebook that you haven't seen since your school days? Be still more honest, aren't messages and emails preferable when you're feeling a little nervous or anxious? This was the main factor that converted me.
Chatting to a stranger that you like the look of is hard! Actually, initiating a conversation is way easier from behind a screen. No more nervous chat-up lines and stuttered introductions. You get to think through what you say and how you're coming across.
To summarize, not so long ago online dating appeared to me to be an absolute non-option. Now though, I'm convinced that it's undoubtedly the best starting place for finding a partner. Let's say you meet only ten new potentials per week as a result of using online dating sites - even if only 1 of those turns out to be eligible, you've increased your chances of meeting someone by over 1000! You can't argue with that!
|
